IrenicEmbers

I’m not bridezilla in the least, but there’s still so much left to do.

I’m praying daily that the following doesn’t happen Friday:

- I fall on my face in my 4″ heels.

- I don’t cry too much

- The DJ doesn’t suck ass

- Everyone likes the food

- People dance

- I get through the vows in one piece

Now, on to clean the bathrooms and finish up cleaning the apartment.

So, been busy. The company that I work for, laid off my entire group Tuesday morning. I knew it was coming. My boss fought to keep me and one other girl in the team she moved to. That didn’t work out, so I got placed into another team. At least I’m employed, but my 30 minute commute has turned into 1 1/2 hours each way. In traffic. And whereas before I worked noonish to 9:30, now it’s 8-5.

The time I had in the morning to meet with vendors and plan this wedding has gone bye bye. With just three weeks to go, this isn’t great timing.

Oh well, at least I’m employed. Repeat, rinse and repeat.

We are having such a hectic life right now, between cake tasting and meeting with the caterers, life’s been a blur. With less than a month left there’s a lot to do.

On Sunday, I managed to squeeze out some time to go to my friend Briana’s baby shower. She’s expecting her first child and since Briana and I can never manage to have a serious conversation, I had to make some time for this. Anyway, when I got there, I met up with some old co-workers … one of whom, turned to me and said, “Did you hear about (________)?” I said no, she then said, “He committed suicide this morning in the church parking lot.”

Stunned didn’t even describe my reaction. The guy she was talking about was a loan officer, father of three gorgeous children but someone always a bit lonely. I never thought he would have done something like that. In the days that followed, the meticulous planning that he went through became apparent. This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing, this was planned for months.

I can’t imagine living with such torment for so long and I can’t imagine that life would get to the point where he would leave those three children fatherless. At least with divorce, there’s a chance of raising them. This finality, I’ve always seen as so fucking selfish.

Anyway, that rattled me this weekend and I’m not sure why I’m sharing it.

Just that I’m really tired and busy and just …. blah. We are so screwed on this wedding. Over our budget by a lot and I think I’ll have to sell the dog. If anyone wants a seven year old runtweiler, lemme know. Heh, who am I kidding. I’ll probably sell Nick first.