IrenicEmbers

Bathing Blaze has been a trial of epic proportions. Normally, Nick takes care of this and I do the cleanup. But with his back all out of sorts and Blaze reeking, we decided to look into this dog bathing self-service place that opened up down the street. The first time we took him, it was a minor fiasco and I don’t think the owner of the place really intended that a rabid runtweiler would ever come in to his lovely establishment. That poor man.

About two weeks later, in we go again:

Thankfully we were seasoned by that time and there was probably less to clean up.

Last weekend, Nick made breakfast. I think I posted about this creation before. It’s his most favourite thing to make.

First you toast the bread in enough butter to make Paula Deen blush.

Then you brown some BACON!

Toss bacon on toasted bread, spread out.

Pour in beaten eggs (salt and pepper egg mixture)

Sprinkle on some herb-age, in this case parsley

More salt and pepper. Then pop in oven to finish cooking and puff up.

I didn’t take a picture of the finished product because I was famished by the time he was finished.

The reason I’m posting this is because of what happened after. I was complaining that I wanted juice and there was no damned juice in the house. I could easily have made tea but I wanted juice. So the following day, juice was on sale at the supermarket and I bought some.

Nick had to go to the pharmacy and he called to ask me if I wanted juice as he had to stop by the supermarket too. I told him that I’d already bought some. He comes up about an hour later (one day I will go into a discussion on why ANY shopping trip with Nick turns into hours long events) with a bag of “stuff.”

Sheepishly, he said, “I really wanted to get you juice but since you already bought it, I wanted to get you something.”

This is what he got me instead:

None of which I’ve ever used prior but it touched me all the same. He’s insane that one.

The Pacific NW is chock full of parks and recreational areas. In our search to actually go out more with the dog and get more exercise we have been going to places that we’ve never been to before. Last Sunday, we ended up at a park with about 15 random men trolling for other men. It creeped me out because it was in broad daylight and they were … sorta evenly spaced out all around this park.

So with that experience behind us, I punched into the Blackberry, search for nearest dog park. That’s how we ended up at Magnuson Park.

The other great thing about WA is all the cherry, apple and other fruit bearing trees and their blossoms!

(Ok, so Wordpress doesn’t allow you to just upload an image without adding it to the gallery. doh!)

1. I apparently like starting shit with people. Sometimes thrive on it. Chaos is fun.

2. Being smart leads to unhappiness more often than not.

3. I greatly prefer the written word rather than the spoken word.

Today I was talking to a co-worker about what we are going to do in this whole work mess. In doing so, I inadvertently started a little tiff between her and another co-worker. Which lead to a conversation about blogging. (It’s too long to go into here.) First co-worker wants to start a blog and me being helpful told her about the few more popular blogging platforms. And then I opened my mouth and said, “I’ve been blogging for eleven years and I’ve tried most of them.”

Foot in mouth.

Didn’t want to admit that. Thankfully, she didn’t ask for the address. We spoke some more and then I realized something: I tend to avoid a lot of life’s harsher realities.

For example, the reason I blog/write is because, in doing so, I kinda voice the thoughts in my head. Once they’re out I tend not to go back to them. Keeping things in usually is what fucks me up in life. I keep a lot of things in. In eleven years, I’ve changed so much but my avoidance of things is still there.

Like how we still haven’t gotten the pictures from the wedding from the photographer and I’m not even sweating it. My sweet, dear, lovely Bekah sent her pictures and I haven’t opened the envelope. Why not? Because that night was so perfect in my mind, so amazingly perfect that I don’t want to look through the pictures and see how fat I was/am. Or how gross I know I looked, sweating, dancing, just being. I’m avoiding it because that sweet memory of that night, surrounded by so much love … is what I want to believe.

I haven’t even admitted this to Nick.

Yes, I know I need therapy. My point is, that I over-think and self criticize to the point of dementia and that’s part of the reason why I cannot function in normal society.

I probably will go back and password protect this at some point because I hate admitting how insane I am.

The thing is that this has been a really, really fucked up few months. Last week, I found out that my dear friend’s sister has thyroid cancer and is having her thyroids removed on the 22nd. Fuck how does a 25 year old have cancer. How does a newborn.

See, there goes that thinking thing again. This had led to some really bad panic attacks for me and I swear to god, not over-dramatizing anything but the right side of my face froze last night. We were watching something on TV and I leaned back and there it was, my face froze. I just sat there and listened while Nick was talking about something at work. A commercial came and went and then I felt my face “go” normal again. What’s up with that….

Why are we put on this minute blue speck in the universe, what is the fucking purpose of ALL of this?